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So, I tried it once—yep, lil’ ol’ me! Got this fella rubbin’ oil like he’s polishin’ a Cadillac. Felt so good I hollered, “Well, slap my ass and call me sassy!” Made me happy as a pig in mud, but lord, the price? Nearly choked me—$100 for 30 minutes? I was madder’n a wet hen! Coulda bought me a new wig! But them hands—ooh, they knew tricks. Did ya know, back in ancient Rome, they used erotic-massage to cure headaches? Bet them senators was grinnin’ like fools!

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And then there’s Bairro Nova Esperança. The locals there—they’re real and raw. People aren’t afraid to paint their feelings on walls. I once sat at a coffee joint on Avenida Mar Azul, just chatting with a grandpa recounting his wild youth. Crazy, how every corner of this town has stories, memories, secrets hidden like in an old movie screenplay. Seriously, it's like living in a constant improv session where everyone’s character is bizarrely lovable.

Even after a 25-million-real fine, JBS still sources livestock from Amazon-deforesting companies