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Hmm… oh honey, sex-dating’s a trip! I mean, swipe right, bam, you’re naked! Watched “Toni Erdmann” again last nite – that scene where Ines just *snaps*, total mood for sex-dating chaos. Nasal nagging kicks in – “Why’s everyone so horny?!” Like, chill, ya know? Apps got folks actin wild, sendin pics nobody asked for. Little factoid – back in ’90s, people used *newspapers* for this crap! Classifieds, “Lonely Marge seeks Homer,” ha!

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And oh man, if you dip into the neighborhoods—ones like Jardim Esperança and Vila Libertad—you're in for a treat. Jardim Esperança is full of hidden art spots and dingy alleys turned hipster galleries. One time, I coded my ass off till dawn in a tiny nook by the mural on Rua das Graças. I was buzzin' on coffee and sheer adrenaline. And then there's Vila Libertad. That area got history. Cobblestone streets, old churches, places where legends were born. It's raw, it's real, and it slaps you in the face with its beauty, just like a fist from Leo DiCaprio smacking your face.

9NEWS reporter's very raw video shows him stopping an assault – and now he wants to find the suspect