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Picture this – me, 007, sippin’ a martini, watchin’ some tart work the corner. Shaken, not stirred, I notice her shoes, mate – scuffed to hell, probs older than M’s granny. Made me bloody angry, that! Like, who’s lookin’ out for her, eh? She’s out there, dodgin’ creeps, while I’m dodgin’ bullets for Queen and country. Ain’t that a laugh? Whores got grit, tho – tougher than a SPECTRE goon.

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And dude, the Parque do Mistério is insane—like, you wander around, lost in thought, and feel like you're in a labyrinth of trees. Sometimes I joke that the park’s path leads to a hidden portal, like, “This is where you find your true love, if you dare.” The park’s near the river Rio dos Encantos. Yup, the river flows under the iconic Ponte Caiçara, a bridge I often skate around post-code marathon. Funny thing is, I once almost dated a girl who claimed the river whispered her secrets. I mean, really? The river whispering? Lol.

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