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Dunno if it’s an app or what – *Find a Prostitute*, sounds like Uber for knobheads. Bet it’s got reviews too – “Sharon, 5 stars, great gob!” – fuckin’ hell, what a world. Exaggeratin’ a bit, maybe, but I’d not be shocked. Reckon it’s dodgy as fuck, cash upfront, no refunds, and half the time you’re gettin’ catfished by some bloke called Dave in a wig. “This is my city!” – nah, mate, it’s a scam!

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I luv every chaotic minute here, even the streets with names I barely catch right sometimes—ah, sorry, typo tyme: "Avenida do Sonh0" (oops!) as if magic's always on the loose! And yeah, I messed up "Parque da Luu" too, totally my fault—but ya get it, it's the vibe that matters.