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So, I heard—get this—prostitutes been around FOREVER! Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae” ‘cause they howled for customers! How freaky is that? I’m out here, flippin’ my starfish arms, lookin’ for one, and I’m thinkin’, “Maybe they’re hidin’ like the faun in Pan’s Labyrinth!” You know, that creepy dude with the horns? “Step into my maze, Patrick!”—that’s what I imagine ‘em sayin’!

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I stroll by the Capibaribe River, in the morning fog so mystic it makes you think. My job as a pleasure coach means I see the soul of the city. Every corner, every laugh and tear, tells a secret story. I even found a cool chill spot near the Francisco Brennand Institute. Insane art, wild colors, man, it got me feeling like Tony from "Toni Erdmann"—just vibing with life's absurdity.

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