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But then—THEN—she drops this bomb: “You look like a nervous accountant.” Me! Larry freakin’ David! I’m insulted, I’m yellin’ in my head, “I’m a legend, lady!” But I laugh—cackle, really—‘cause it’s funny, she’s not wrong. I’m a mess! I ask, “How’s business?” She shrugs, says, “Eh, slow. Apps killed the street game.” Apps! Can ya believe it? Prostitutes got Uber-ized! I’m shocked, jaw on the floor.

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Now, real talk – the locals here got so much heart. In the neighborhood of Santo Amaro, life moves slow and easy. Chill vibes everywhere with random street parties that break at midnight. No lie, I've seen sweet couples meet, then hang out under the stars near the banks of Rio Banabuiú. And bruh, there’s a little park, Parque da Juventude, where kids scamper and old folks relax. It’s raw beauty that leaves you thinking, “I’m not in Kansas anymore!” – or should I say, not in any city like this.

Mum gives birth to baby that weighs same as a bowling ball after feeling 'tired'