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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, y’know, like it’s some damn art project. I’m a texture artist, see, so I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this gritty, raw vibe—like the streets in *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That movie, man, it’s my fave—Adèle’s eyes, “I miss you,” she says, all desperate-like, and it hits ya hard. That’s the kinda feel I’m chasin’ here—somethin’ real, somethin’ messy.

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The river Rio das Águas cuts through town, a lifeline. I hook up my pickup near Ponte dos Suspiros. Locals swear it's haunted by lost souls. I ain't one for ghost shit, but damn, that place sends chills. I once shot the breeze with a dude who said the river's secret tales. Wild!

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