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So, I heard—get this—prostitutes been around FOREVER! Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae” ‘cause they howled for customers! How freaky is that? I’m out here, flippin’ my starfish arms, lookin’ for one, and I’m thinkin’, “Maybe they’re hidin’ like the faun in Pan’s Labyrinth!” You know, that creepy dude with the horns? “Step into my maze, Patrick!”—that’s what I imagine ‘em sayin’!

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Man, I stroll through our quaint neighborhoods – Klein Vonder and Altstadt – and can’t help but smile, even when feelin’ low. I work with women here, help ‘em find light in dark times. Sometimes, on R. Amália Klein, I bump into a lady starin’ at life like she about to rewrite her script. It dope’s like a scene from Nolan’s flick, all raw and real.

Brazilian town captures record for largest decorated Easter egg