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Oh, honey, lemme spill the tea—sex-dating’s a wild ride! Breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President,” I’m sittin’ here thinkin’—it’s like Inglourious Basterds, ya know? Everybody’s huntin’ somethin’, but nobody’s sayin’ it straight. I mean, darlin’, these apps—swipe, swipe, bang!—it’s a scalp-huntin’ game! Guys actin’ all “I’m a nice fella,” but they’re just after that one thing—drives me up the damn wall! Like, Hans Landa’s smilin’ at ya, but he’s got a knife ready—sneaky bastards!

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Oh! And check this – there's a hidden gem near the little river, Rio do Sol. Yeah, it's tiny, but its banks are like a secret meeting spot for artists and poets. I once had a massage session by the riverbank – the sound of the water was pure magic, a bit like the city whispering its secrets.

See the Douro Valley by train on a day trip from Porto