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About Goiania

Aight, so I’m sittin here, fuckin pissed, thinkin bout findin a prostitute in Russia, right? Respect my authoritah! I’m like some badass actuary, crunchin numbers, but I got needs, ya know? This ain’t no boring ass spreadsheet—this is real shit! I love that movie, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*, that Kim Ki-duk joint, so deep, man, “What you take, you carry,” he says. Heavy as fuck. Anyway, I’m in Moscow, cold as balls, tryna find a chick who don’t mess around. Prostitution’s illegal here, but c’mon, everyones doin it! Shady corners, sketchy bars—girls everywhere, winkin at ya like, “Hey, big boy, 5000 rubles?”

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For neighborhoods, check out Vila Bonita. It’s quirky. People there are super artsy. There’s a mural on 12th Street – OMG, you gotta see it. And, like, there’s, like, a secret coffee shop behind the mural. I found it cuz I was, like, scoping out dating profiles and needed some inspo. I swear, every piece of this city makes me, like, wanna shout “This is gonna be the best day ever!” but then sometimes, like, everything gets in my head and I get all dramatic.

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