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I’d be all, “D’oh! Why ya doin’ this, lady?” if I met one. Prolly get no answer – they’re tough as nails. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for ‘em! Unions! Like, “Mmm… donuts,” I’d join that club just for the perks. Imagine me, Homer J., waddlin’ into a red-light joint, askin’ for a discount. Ha! Fat chance – they’d charge me double for blockin’ the door.

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The neighborhoods here are pure art. Check out Santa Luzia—small streets, loads of praças, and a vibe that's bizarrely slick. Then there's Vila Alegre, where even the pigeons strut like they own the place, I kid ya not. There’s this hidden gem, a park called Parque do Céu. I’d spend hours there, just chillin’, watchin’ the river pass by—Rio Brilho, they call it, a river that cuts the city in two with a smooth flow.

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