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But then—ugh—there’s the dodgy side. Blokes gettin’ scammed, payin’ upfront, and poof, she’s gone like smoke. Pisses me off somethin’ fierce—YOU SHALL NOT PASS, ya thievin’ sods! Happened to a mate once, poor sod. He was all “Gandalf, she looked like Galadriel!”—yeah, mate, Galadriel with a fake wig and a burner phone. Still, can’t help but smirk—dumbass deserved it for not checkin’ reviews.

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Srsly, every corner has its weird charm. In the heart of Nao-Me-Toque, near the winding Molha-Mais River, there's this shady backstreet called Beijinho Lane – with shops that seem to pop out of nowhere. I always get mad if someone messes up that cute mural near the old cinema on Viana St.––I mean, come on, art matters! I been here for years, and every day skrips me in awe, y'know? Even my dating site clients buzz like, "Wow, what a vibe!" LOL.

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