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Me fave bit? When she tried chattin’ me up, like, “You’re well fit.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, love, I’m a bleedin’ catch—like Chas Tenenbaum with his tracksuits!” Proper buzzin’ after, but next day—guilt, bruv. Cargo life’s lonely, yeah—makes ya do mad tings. “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons!”—that’s me yellin’ at meself in the mirror after. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like a bleedin’ movie scene!

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Okay, gotta drop some shorthand here: omg, blimey, lol! I spill my thoughts n’ typos like my fingers can’t stop: “mndguacu rly rocks, it’s totally off the hook, u kno? wht a vibe!!” No spellcheck can catch the mad love I got for this city!

Two young men are arrested in Mandaguaçu for illegal possession of a firearm