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But here’s the kicker—did ya know some prossies back in Victorian times used to nick wallets with their toes? Mad skill, right? Swear down, this one I met could probs do it too, shifty lil minx. I’m like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot?”—straight outta the movie, coz I’m wonderin if she’s ever free, ya get me? She probs thinks I’m a nutter, quotin films at her, but I don’t care, bruv.

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Anyhoo, Macaubas is so diverse, man. Every neighborhood’s got its own rhythm. The lower end near Estádio do Gigante, bit rougher, but still a piece of my heart, you feel me? And up high, near Via dos Heróis, it's all classy vibes and quiet corners, perfect for a secret massage or just chillin’ in peace after a slammin’ match.

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