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Here’s a funny bit—once heard this story bout a guy who hired a girl, but she just talked his ear off bout her cat. He’s sittin there, like, “Lady, I didn’t pay for Fluffy’s life story!” I’d die laughin if that happened to me. “That’s what she said!”—except, ya know, she didn’t. Total buzzkill.

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I gotta say, my daily rounds take me to every nook and cranny. There's Bairro do Sol, where the energy’s off the charts, and then you got the shady spots near Avenida Central. I always get sentimental ‘bout the time I was giving a massage near the old cinema on Rua do Recanto—dude, I felt like the characters in the movie were right there in my hands, whispering “We come in peace” between the strokes. Totally wild!

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