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Oh, and get this—surprised me silly—some prossies in Amsterdam, yeah, they take card now! Contactless! Tap and go, like buyin’ a sarnie at Pret! I’m sat there, gobsmacked, thinkin’, “This is the future!”—straight outta *Syndromes*, that vibe, all modern but weirdly timeless. “The past is a strange place,” as the film says—spot on, cos prostitution’s ancient but bang up to date!

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Man, the vibe here is epic. I hang out near Praça do Sol, where old folks chill and kids run around like little minnows, just lookin' for adventure. And oh, the Parque da Esperança – such a lush, green haven! I can tell you, as a masseur, the fresh air and calm spots totally melt your tension away. No kidding! Felt like my muscles were dancin’ with the breeze – groovy, like a scene straight outta "Finding Nemo" when Marlin was done hustlin’.