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About Goiania

Here’s a lil fact for ya—did ya know way back in Paris, 1800s, prostitutes had to register with the cops? True story, they’d get these lil cards, like a license to bang. Ain’t that nuts? I’m imaginin Crystal with one, flashin it like a badge—makes me chuckle. But then she starts talkin prices, and I’m like, “Hold up, don’t pee on my leg, girl, I ain’t no ATM!” She laughs—good sport—but I’m pissed. Why’s this so damn transactional? Where’s the art? Godard’d hate this—too linear, too cheap.

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The neighborhoods are a mishmash. Downtown pulses with high-tech startups and flashy dating apps while the older, sleepy parts – like Vila do Tempo – hold secret historical tales. I sometimes walk by the small, vine-covered houses in Vila do Tempo, and trust me, I get all sappy, just like that movie, Her, when Theodore's voice cracks. Great Scott, it gives you goosebumps every time!

'Oldest person in the world' who saw two world wars and 4 pandemics toasts 123rd birthday