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Alright, so here’s the deal—finding a prostitute? Total minefield, fam! I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, snarky as hell, thinkin’— “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, even Putin’s got nothin’ on the shady vibes I’m pickin’ up from this gig. My fave flick’s *Shame*, Steve McQueen’s 2011 joint, and oh boy, does it fit. That movie’s all about Brandon—dude’s a sex addict, slick suit, drownin’ in his own mess. “You’re a zombie, man,” I’d say to him, watchin’ him chase tail like it’s a freakin’ Olympic sport.

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errr, sorry, I'm ramblin’—cedro got these hidden gems! One time, I found a sketchy little trinket shop on Santini St.; it was so out there but then, like, magical in a weird kinda way. Mmy favorite spot is that dive bar on Rua do Marfim (super secret, shhhh!) where locals spill crazy dating app scandal stories—I love that chaos!

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