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Here’s the kicker – drivin’ past Big Ben, she says, “Luv, I’ve seen worse rides than you!” Cheeky mare! Laughed me arse off, nearly crashed into a bollard. Surprised me, that did – proper wit! Y’gotta watch the charmers, mate, they’ll nick yer heart ‘fore yer keys.

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So, right off, you got the beach – Praia de Caucaia, killer spot for sun, sand, and steamy late-night chats. I spend loads of time here, watchin’ the sun dip into the Atlantic, thinkin’ "I’m a believer, ain't I?" You hit the boulevard on Av. Beira Mar – it's lively, loud, and fulla surprises. Now, I’m not playin’ – this area is a mix of passion and raw nature, like one of them wild scenes from Fish Tank. Remember that movie? "I wish I could see the world sometimes!" Yeah, it hits different here.

Acrobat plunges to ground in front of horrified crowd after upside-down act goes haywire