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We haggle—$50, $60, whatever—she’s actin’ like she’s doin’ me a favor. Fun fact: in Amsterdam, they got unions for this shit. Here? It’s a free-for-all, and I’m dodgin’ cops like I dodge clinic duty. She’s all, “No kissing,” and I’m like, “Fine, I’m not Ritchie anyway.” *Tenenbaums* ref, duh—nobody gets it. Makes me happy, tho, ‘cause I’m a smug prick. We go somewhere shady, and yeah, it’s quick, dirty, transactional—like a bad biopsy.

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Not everything is perfect – sometimes it rains like a waterfall and the floodgates of nostalgia open up, making me cry like a baby. But those moments? They’re magic! Beats any rom-com scene. I'm always shocked, excited and sometimes pissed – the raw vibe gets under my skin.

FIGURE 1. Pepper seedlings in formation subjected to different chemical...