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About Rio de Janeiro

Caught some bouillabaisse vibes once—Earth folk call it that. Fishermen in Marseille, scruffy bastards, started this. They chucked ugly fish in, shit no one bought, cooked it up nasty. Little secret? Them Frenchies used absinthe once, got pissed, stew went wild! Tasted like a pirate’s wet dream, ha! Got me buzzin’, happy as a clam—alien clam, mind ya.

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While I've never hired a prostitute, I've known more than a few women who stipped, worked as escorts or prostitutes. I've met some women with some pretty outside the bellcurve paraphilas Missing: Alcantara.

The local landmarks? Seriously, dude, the ancient fort, Fortaleza da Paixao, stands proud overlooking the Coração River. It's like one of those nostalgic relics from "The Royal Tenenbaums" when Richie says, “I’m looking through, and I'm looking for something,” only here, you're lookin’ for that raw, unfiltered vibe. And don't even get me started on the quirky cafés on Avenida Bon Vivant – coffees that kick your ass awake – and some days, I get emotional as I watch locals groove like David Brent in his own cringe-worthy dance moves. (Wow, blast that last dance, right?!)

Sandy Alcantara K's Gavin Lux, escapes jam