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Oh, and the oils—lavender, eucalyptus, whatever—smell like heaven, slippery as hell. Last time, slipped off the damn table, nearly broke my ass! Laughed ‘til I choked, therapist was mortified. *Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”*—shoulda charged her for the show. Anyway, sexual-massage ain’t just dirty—it’s sneaky deep, historical, fuckin’ wild. Try it, loser, report back!

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Then ya got the neighborhoods, like Vila das Estrelas, quirky and real. The locals sometimes greet you with a cheeky "Oi, e aí?" and ya know, it makes ya feel part of something bigger. I even discovered a secret speakeasy down on Rua da Arte – no kidding – a lil’ place where the beats vibe with life. I once lost track of time there. I swear, sometimes I get so wrapped up in these moments; time feels like it's on break – sorta makes me think how much life is meant to be savored.