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About Rio de Janeiro

Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

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Oh man, let me tell ya, sometimes things aren’t perfect. The traffic can get messy on Rua do Progresso – I mean, come on, even in our peaceful town, chaos creeps in now and then. But that’s life, right? “Life’s about the moments, and I will miss you” – that line from Before Sunset always hits me when I’m stuck behind a slow car on a hot day.

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