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What tickles me? These sex-dating rules! Don’t text too soon, don’t ghost, don’t catch feelin’s—Lord, it’s a full-time job! I’d rather watch paint dry. One time, my cousin Shonda tried it—met a dude, thought he was fine. Took her to Waffle House, then asked to “split the bill.” Split the bill?! Boy, bye! She said, “I ain’t no charity case!” Dumped him faster than a hot potato. Madea don’t play that—pay for my hashbrowns if you want somethin’, halleluyer!

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I get mad sometimes, oh man, it's surreal. Like when some idiots trample over these historic trysts with modern disrespect. I mean, holy hell—these ancient alleyways and secret meeting nooks were built on stories of raw lust and rebellion. It pisses me off when modern life feels so bland and sterile! I choose violence—verbal, metaphorical, the kind of mighty roar that shakes the very soul of this city.

Fig. 4. Agoutis ( Dasyprocta leporina ) in Tijuca National Park, Rio de...