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I’m sweatin’, palms all clammy—d’oh!—askin’ myself, “Homer, you dumbass, why you doin’ this?” But then, this chick, she’s all “Hey, big guy,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo! Jackpot!” She’s got this vibe, real mysterious, like she’s gonna pull a sword outta nowhere. Made me happy as hell, but then—d’oh!—she quotes me fifty bucks! Fifty! I’m thinkin’, “For that, I could get a dozen Krusty Burgers!” Pissed me off, man, total rip-off.

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I gotta admit, sometimes I get madder than a wet hen 'cause every damn day, the city throws surprises at me. One day, I found a stray cat in my alley, struttin’ like it owned the place and I thought, “What a damn diva!” But then that damn feline sat on my counter, lookin’ me in the eyes—as if sayin’, “Never forget the power of mystery.” Fuckin’ wild, right?

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