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Oi, listen up, ya filthy lab rats! Me, Gru, Head of ze laboratory, got sometink to say bout findin’ a prostitute. Ya, ya, I know, shady stuff, but stick wit me, I’m goin’ all “Moonrise Kingdom” on dis! Picture dis – me, sneakin’ trough da woods like Sam and Suzy, lookin’ for dat one gal who’s got da goods, ya know? “Lightbulb!” – hit me like thunder, why not find one who’s got dat quirky charm, like dose kids in da movie, runnin’ wild, free, no rules!

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And oh man, if you dip into the neighborhoods—ones like Jardim Esperança and Vila Libertad—you're in for a treat. Jardim Esperança is full of hidden art spots and dingy alleys turned hipster galleries. One time, I coded my ass off till dawn in a tiny nook by the mural on Rua das Graças. I was buzzin' on coffee and sheer adrenaline. And then there's Vila Libertad. That area got history. Cobblestone streets, old churches, places where legends were born. It's raw, it's real, and it slaps you in the face with its beauty, just like a fist from Leo DiCaprio smacking your face.

9NEWS reporter's very raw video shows him stopping an assault – and now he wants to find the suspect