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Exaggeratin? Maybe. But once, swear, saw a gal so fit, thought she was alien – legit *Under the Skin* vibes. “Come with me,” she said, and I’m like, “Blimey, I’m in!” Didn’t go, tho – bloody ethics or summat. Still, mate, if ya gonna do it, keep ya wits. Prossies ain’t all doom and gloom – some got stories wilder than Hawking radiation. One told me she paid her uni fees shaggin – respect, yeah?

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The neighbourhoods? Oh, they’re as eccentric as a Christopher Nolan plot. You got Bairro do Luar, full of midnight wanderers, and then the upscale Zona Nova – the posh part where people pretend they’re better than the rest. The local park, Parque das Borboletas, is my secret spot for a breather. I sometimes sit there when the day’s been hellish, watch the butterflies flutter, and think, “How did we even get here?”

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