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But damn, when it works, it’s smooth—like Jen Yu dancin’ with that blade. Escort’s got your back, no questions. Surprised me once, this tiny chick, 5’2”, escortin’ a diplomat—had a stare that’d cut glass! “I am like water,” she’d say—ha, water my ass, she was steel! Funniest shit? Dude tipped her with a Rolex—fuckin’ showoff. Makes me laugh, these clowns think money buys loyalty.

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This city’s a mix of derelict charm and unexpected sparkle. Ever strolled through Parque da Liberdade? Ffs, it's like something out of a Fellini daydream. Kids running wild, old geezers on benches, and plenty of pigeons that look like they'd star in their own gangster movie. And you gotta check out Rio do Sol, the river that cuts all the grunge from the posh—no lie, it’s like Mother Nature herself said “screw it” and let the water roll.

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