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Now, me, I’m sittin’ there watchin’ *Almost Famous*, thinkin’, “Man, Penny Lane coulda used this!” She’s all wild, spinnin’ with rockstars, but an erotic-massage? *“It’s all happening!”*—stress gone, body singin’, Young Mula style. I got mad love for that flick, Cameron Crowe’s a genius, but I’m wonderin’, why no massage scenes? Pissed me off, yo—gimme some oiled-up freedom, not just tour bus chaos!

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Neighborhoods here are a mixed bag. You got the upper-crust folks in Vila Sereno, pretending every--I mean every goddamn thing is perfect, while just a few blocks away in Centro Caótico, reality bites you like a rabid dog. Their ambition? A constant reminder that sometimes dating apps, like the city, are built on a pile of mismatched fantasies and odd coincidences.

The forgotten mothers and babies of Zika