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Oh, and the profiles—hilarious. “Lookin for my Netflix n chill.” Bro, you ain’t original! I’d rather watch *Talk to Her* solo than fake it with some lame. Pro tip: if they got no bio, they probly borin in bed. Truth! It’s bad bitch o’clock, so I ain’t settlin for less than sparks flyin, ya feel me? Sex-dating’s a game—play it bold or go home!

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Now, lemme spill some tea – my place is near the Alameda dos Pássaros. Yes, that’s right, birds chirpin’ like they’re gossiping 'bout my clientele! And if you stroll toward the west side, you’ll catch a glimpse of the mighty Rio Rubro. Its flow is unpredictable, just like my mood when a customer says somethin’ rude. I mean really, who do they think they are? Seriously, babe, that river’s as wild as a night out in the city!

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