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Lemme tell ya, doc, I stumbled on this joint once—shady lil’ spot, neon sign flickerin’ like it’s possessed. Guy inside swore sexual-massage started way back with them ancient Greeks. Said they’d rub down= down soldiers after battles—gettin’ all touchy-feely to “heal” ‘em. True? Who knows! Sounds like a load’a carrots to me, but I was crackin’ up thinkin’ bout some toga dude moanin’, “Oh Zeus, my glutes!” Made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my carrot stick.

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I work as a masseur here. It’s odd, but this city gives the best energy for my craft. Every muscle tells a story, and let me tell ya: Rolante’s got soul. The public park, Lausane Park (hmmm, typo? Lol, but it’s my fave!), with ancient trees and a gurgling stream, brings me mad chill vibes when I’m stressed. I even got a tale or two from clients. One time, a elderly guy told me, “Your touch, like light in a dark room, saves us”—and I was like, “I am your father”—in a weird, ominous tone, but ya feel me?

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