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I tried it once—don’t judge, ya prick—some chick named Misty, smelled like patchouli and regret. Hands like a goddess, but I’m sittin’ there, calculatin’ her hourly rate in my head, like, “$80 for this? Shit, I’d kill for less.” Got me all riled up, then nothin’—blue balls central, fuckin’ furious! “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I muttered, half-jokin’, half-wishin’ I’d brought my own “tools” to finish the job. Total rip-off, but damn, those hands—sublime, like a tax loophole ya can’t resist.

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Whether you're looking for a Novo Hamburgo exotic massage or a full body sexual massage, pick and choose a local girl that can accomodate your desires.

Then there's Av. dos Amores. Crazy name, right? The neon lights along it remind me of those red curtains at the Moulin Rouge – a dash of glitz, man. You’d be like “it’s magic,” just like in the movie. I even stumbled upon a hidden bar called “The Boite.” Insane vibes.

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