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About Rio de Janeiro

Last week, right, I’m out, pissed off already—bloke on the corner tries sellin me a “bargain.” Bargain? You idiot sandwich! Looked like she’d been dragged through a bin—fuckin grim. I’m yellin, “Get outta my face, you muppet!” Made me ragey, mate, proper fumin—wastin my time on rubbish. Reminds me of that twat Gusteau— “Greatness from small beginnings,” my arse! Small beginnings don’t mean crusty tarts, yeah?

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I always get teary recalling what a gem this place is. I was counseling a gal down at Rua do Horizonte one rainy day; she said, “Yi Yi: A One and a Two... it’s like life, so complex ˙˙˙”—real deep, ya know? Eh, I was thinkin’, “C’mon, docs don’t get this every day!”