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Oi mate, so I’m standin’ there, cash register beepin’, and this bloke comes in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred”—where to find a prostitute. Me, I’m thinkin’, “What am I, yer bloody pimp?” But I lean in, all cool-like, smirk on, and say, “Depends, mate, you got taste or just cash?” He’s all twitchy, nervous, probly his first rodeo. I’m pissed tho—why me? Why not Google it, ya twat? But then I’m like, whatever, let’s have some fun.

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Dude, the food, oh man, the food by the street vendors in the Mercado Municipal – spicy, saucy, messy, and pure love! My taste buds dance a ridiculous tango when I sink my teeth into a sizzling feijoada too, kinda like savorin’ every note of a well-played piano. It’s raw, real, and it fuckin’ rocks!

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