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But yo, some shit’s wild—catfishers, man, they’re the worst. Had this chick, “Tiffany,” hot pics, voice like honey—turns out, dude named Gary. Fuckin’ furious—wasted my time! Greed blinded me, shoulda sniffed the trap. Still, laughed my ass off later—sex-dating’s a gamble, bro. “You’re only as good as your last envelope,” right? Next swipe’s my redemption.

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Down by the river—the Ribeirão da Lua—it’s a chill-out zone. I even hosted a little pleasure session (yeah, my passion, pleasure coach style) right there on a grassy knoll. The babblin' water, the whispering trees, and starlight above, remind me of those deep French dreams in Ratatouille. In fact, I swear on it, I once said, "It’s not about how you look, it’s what you cook!" oh, wait, that was more about life, eh? :)

FIguRe 1. Rineloricaria rodriquezae, holotype, MZUSP 125901, 127.2 mm...