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About Rio de Janeiro

Little known fact—did ya know sex-dating apps started way back? Like, 1960s computer matchin’—punch cards for horny nerds. Now it’s all dick pics and “u up?” at 2 a.m. Pathetic. I’m ragin’—these fools thinkin’ they’re clever, sendin’ blurry crotch shots. Mate, I’ve seen better aim from a drunk archer. Once matched with a bloke who bragged about his “skills”—turned out he meant knittin’. Laughed my arse off, then blocked him. “I choose violence,” I hissed, deletin’ the app for a week.

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The River Sereno flows gently, winding through old alleys and modern vibes. I always stop my walk here. Helps me re-balance, you know? Those reflections make me think: "I love you, and the rest of the world." Yeah, totally Wes.

Richarlison on his dramatic path from Brazil to Watford: 'A guy once pointed a gun at my face... now Neymar has offered to help me succeed in Europe'