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Precious! We swears! Erotic-massage, it’s sneaky, yesss. Slippery hands, they rubs us good. Me thinks it’s like theater, y’know? Like in “Synecdoche, New York”—all twisty, weird. “What’s real?” we asks ourselves. Massage starts all chill, then bam! Tingles everywhere, precious! We swears, it’s no hobbits’ trick.

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There’s a park, Parque do Desejo. Man, that place is where wild parties and intimate botox sessions go down. Keen spot for a mid-afternoon chill, watchin’ the river Rio Paixão roll by. Sometimes I sit on the worn steps of the park’s old fountain, reminiscin’ about my first nosh with a lucky lover. “I hope we’re not gonna die,” I’d joke, thinkin’ about how each moment counts. Y’know what I mean?