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So, I’m scopin’ this gal – she’s struttn’, all sass, skirt hiked up. I’m thinkin’, “She’s trouble, but I’m Bugs, I got this.” Chat her up, real smooth – “What’s cookin’, doll?” She smirks, names a price. I’m shocked – “That’s carrots AND cabbage?!” But she’s cool, tells me ‘bout this one time a john paid in gold teeth. Gold freakin’ teeth! Who does that? Laughed my tail off.

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First off, the main artery? Rua Dos Sonhos. Yeah, seriously – dreams, man. It cuts right thru the center, connectin’ the silly old streets like Rua Tristeza (yeah, sadness, sooo deep) to the bustling Avenida Esperança. It’s just like a scene outta Timbuktu: “Hope is a secret whisper...” or somethin’ like that, y’know?

Police hunt Sao Paolo thieves who stole 47st lion Rawell from an animal sanctuary