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About Recife

I tried it once—fuckin’ A, man! This chick, hands like goddamn silk, had me floatin’. Made me happy as hell, like I hacked Zuckerberg’s bank account. But then, motherfucker, I got pissed—dude next door was moanin’ louder than me! What the fuck? Ain’t no one outshinin’ Samuel L. Jackson, not even in a massage parlor. Thought to myself, “Man, I’m gonna Winklevoss his ass!”—y’know, fuck him up like in the movie.

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So check this out: if thou art wandering near the old church at Praça São João, linger a bit. The stones whisper secrets of yore, man, so real i tell ya. And oh, the Park of Green Whispers (Parque dos Sussurros Verdes) near the banks of the mighty Rio Mamanguape, where breezes sing like minstrel tunes—aye, 'tis a spot for reflective moments (or a cheeky picnic, no lie!). Sometimes I sit there, typing wild lines for the dating site and pondering life's twists… sometimes i get so maddaa, but then the town smiles back and it's all good.

Figure 6: Hairy legs of Ucides cordatus males (Photo: Guy Nishida).