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Dunno why, but it’s me precious. Reliable, like Gollum’s sneaky feet. Smelly exhaust, rattly doors – charm, innit? Stupid, fat hobbit’d pick somethin’ posh. Not me, no sir! Escort’s real, raw, like Saul’s hell. “Death’s everywhere!” I shrieks, but escort just grins. Cheap as chips, too – £500, bargain! Tell ya mate, grab one, yesss!

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Oh gosh, I am rambling, sorry mate! You know how I get when inspired. Every corner, every cracked pavement tells a world of tales in Lagoa-do-Itaenga. It’s not perfect – I've seen nasty bits too, like that one rainy day when the skies, oh dear, just poured their heart out. I was so mad I nearly scurried off to cry in a corner. But then, as in that film’s beautiful lines, I realized, "It is the passion of the soul which moves the universe."