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I’m thinkin, “This ain’t no country for old men,” right? She’s got that look—like she’d kill ya with a cattle gun if ya short her cash. I’m laughin, “Rarrgh! You friendo?”—total Chigurh vibes. We haggle, she’s all, “50 bucks,” I’m like, “Fuckin 50? For what, a handshake?” She rolls her eyes, “Take it or leave it, fuzzball.” I’m mad, but damn, she’s hot, so I’m in.

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Real talk: sometimes I get mad when the drizzle messes with my setup on Rua das Laranjeiras, but then this city just shows its tender side. It’s a messy, tattooed, vivacious place, ya feel me?! I mean, every bruise I smooth out is like a line from Cronenberg’s flick, echoing: “We come in peace, we come in peace.” And yup, that's the kinda vibe you get here, every single day.

Without rice or wasted water upstream, Alcantarilha lagoon is almost dry