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Tried the web once—typed “find prossie near me.” Got escort sites, sure, but also some prat’s blog about “ethical hooking.” Ethical? Mate, it’s shagging for cash, not a bloody charity! Laughed my arse off, then cried a bit cos I’m still alone. “I’m the king of this dump!”—Lil’ Zé vibes, but I’m king of fuck-all.

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Hey bud, lemme tell ya bout Joaima (br)! D’oh! This city is wild, man. I live here as a family psychologist and, oh man, the vibes? Insane… in a good way! So, picture this: Main Street, I mean Rua do Sol, bustlin’ with life. People chattin’ non-stop, kids playin’ in parques like Jardim da Alegria. D’oh, reminds me of that line in Toni Erdmann, "Life is too short for boring moments!" Haha, true dat!