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I get heated tho—people judgin’ escorts like they’re dirt. Pisses me off! Ain’t nobody judgin’ the Wall Street creeps screwin’ folks for millions. At least escorts honest ‘bout the transaction. Happy as hell when I met this one guy, Tony—big ol’ teddy bear—escorted for years, said it paid his mama’s hospital bills. Heart of gold, yo, heart of freakin’ gold.

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An escort in Tauranga can cost anywhere from NZ$ to NZ$ per hour, depending on what services are provided. Some escorts may also charge an additional fee for extras, such as .

I gotta share my fave hangout spot—the tiny café on Juniper Road (yep, real name, trust me) where locals gather for tea and talk dreams. I once had a full-body massage session while chattin’ up a stranger who said, “everything is ultimately inexplicable.” Crazy, huh?

Figure 2. Some of the Mesoclemmys raniceps individuals recorded during...