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Now, picture me watchin’ *Holy Motors*, that scene where the dude’s dancin’ wild, screamin’ “What makes me me?” That’s what a good erotic-massage does—wakes you up, makes you feel YOU. Hands slidin’, pressure buildin’, tension snappin’ like a twig. I’m tellin’ ya, it’s borderline holy—pun intended. Ever tried it? Surprised me first time, how it’s chill but intense, like a slow burn. Pro tip: find someone who knows their shit, not some rando who watched a YouTube vid.

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I also love livin’ next to the local spa area, complete with tiny massage parlors and a couple of clandestine spots for a true relax. I mean, I'm a masseur, so any nook where a soul can unwind is like, gold, y’know? It’s like that scene from Synecdoche, New York, where they say "I am dying, but I’m alive." It just hits home every damn time.

Figure 2. Some of the Mesoclemmys raniceps individuals recorded during...