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Had one meself once – proper lush, but pricey, £100! Made me happy as a black hole feastin’ on light. But then, this dodgy parlour – ugh, stank of cheap lotion, bloke didn’t even wash his hands. Pissed me off, yeah? Felt like a supernova of rage. Shoulda known – if it’s £20, it’s sus. Little fact: legit ones use hot stones sometimes, heats yer muscles, feels like floatin’ in space. Bet ya didn’t know that, eh?

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So, my dear friend, brace yourself for a city that may seem chaotic but is filled with love. Itapui’s real, raw, and as unexpected as the flicker of a streetlight on a rainy night. Like in that crazy movie, sometimes you need to let the right one in. YOLO – live it, love it, and catch those vibes, always.

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