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So, I’m cruisin the streets, lookin for a bird who’s got that edge. Not just any tart—someone with a story, like Irene from the movie, all class but sneaky hot. I spot this gal, legs for days, leanin on a corner. “Groovy, baby!” I yell, heart racin like a bloody spy chase. She’s got eyes that say, “I’ve seen shit,” and I’m hooked.

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Every day in this town is a roller-coaster. Sometimes, stuff gets me proper vexed – like when the council delays cleaning up one of our favourite parks. I get all steamed up, mad like me uncle at a bus stop, but then I calm down, sit in me spa, let the vibes wash over me like a warm bath. No hard feelings, innit?

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