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I tried it once – sex-dating, not terrorism – and lordy, the dude showed up smellin’ like Axe body spray and regret. Thought he was smooth, droppin’ lines like, “You’re my target package.” Bro, I ain’t no drone strike! Laughed in his face, then cried in my wine later. Happy? Sure, when the convo’s fire and they don’t flake. Surprised? Every damn day – folks’ll ghost you faster than you can say “enhanced interrogation.” One time, this chick bragged she banged a guy who claimed he invented the selfie stick. Total lie, but I stan a good story.

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Heyyy, bro! Lemme tell ya 'bout Inhapim (br)... it's wild, crazy, and—man—totally like a scene outta that "25th Hour" flick. So check it: I got my massage joint right off Rua dos Girassóis, ya know? That street's lit with all vibes, like chaotic beats. I walk in there, hands humming, and immediately feel the pulse of this town.

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