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So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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There’s a park, Parque dos Segredos, small and almost hidden behind a wall of ivy. It’s not much but, oh man, it’s where I’d escape after coding disasters. I’d sit under a busted light, thinkin’ ‘bout the absurdity of love and algorithms. It’s a downright weird spot, yet it taught me that beauty’s hidden in the ugly bits.

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