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Don’t get me started on the liars! “I’m 6’2”—yeah, in heels, maybe! Don’t pee on my leg, I got eyes! Profiles sayin’ “just chillin’” but they’re clingy as hell after one night. Annoys me to death—why can’t folks keep it real? Sex-dating’s supposed to be fun, not a damn soap opera.

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I remember one crazy day, I was runnin errands on Ave. Esperança when a customer—big ol’ fella—told me, “dude, Guaiuba’s spirit is like the river Rio Amorzinho flowin wild!” And ya know what? I laughed so hard I almost dropped me keys, hah! Street vendors on Beco das Palavras sell some weird but delish treats. Seriously, the locals got quirks. Sometimes I get mad 'cause noise from a street festival interrupts my zen moment, like “D’oh! not again!”

Brazil's equatorial margin offers new frontier