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About Manaus

What gets me raging? The pricks who reckon it’s all seedy. Some of it is, fair dos, but there’s art to it, innit? Takes skill to knead a bloke without snapping him! Surprised me, too—didn’t expect to feel like a new man after. “Truth is a bitter pill,” Oldboy says, and yeah, truth is, I’d go again. Exaggerating? Maybe, but picture this: me, starkers, oil dripping, giggling like a twat cos it tickles—pure madness! You lot missing out, stuck with your Netflix and chill—pathetic! Sexual-massage, mate, it’s the dogs bollocks—try it, you muppet!

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There’s also the mighty Rio Itaim, flowin’ right behind the main market square. The water’s cool and wild, like nature’s own beast. I get all tripped up watchin’ the sunrise over it—it makes me think, “This is life, motherf***er!” Especially when my clients come in all tired and stressed, and a view like that eases the soul.

Figure 1 (A) Rio Grande do Sul subdivided into meso and microregions...